ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
my poor anus
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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