We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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