i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
