You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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