I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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