wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
