At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
