Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Green mimosas i think yes
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
