Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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