Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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