went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
