EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The beer is more important than you right now.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
