Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
