why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
