my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
