Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
