found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
