we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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