i already hear my dad disowning me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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