So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
