My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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