apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
