I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
