I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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