so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
