i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
