I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
