I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
