It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
