i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
