worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
