Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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