Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
pray to the hookup gods
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
