its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
