Sponge bath it is.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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