well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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