This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
