he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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