I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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