it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize