my vag is so smooth its legendary
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
