Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
