we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
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