My cat gives me a boner
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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