Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
