her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
