How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize