is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
