I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I wish I could punch you in the face.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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