I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
