honey bunches of taint.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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