Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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