Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
