I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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