Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
