her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
