I wannas sexs uuuuu
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
