She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
