i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
