Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
