at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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