Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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