we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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