Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
