she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
