I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
