Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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