Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize