HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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