You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
