haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
