all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
