belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
