You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
